Blue

Dear you,

Do you recall the long walks through the neighborhood at nightfall? Do you remember asking me “will you promise not to let this night ever slip away?”. Do you recall me letting your mind wander, as I proceed you with my leading hand along the sidewalk ever so dim lit in the early eve? Do you remember putting all trust in me? Do you recall me joining you in the space of your mind, absent of time, stars all aligned–I was yours and you were mine. All was fine. 

Do you remember the first fight we had–you took the side of peace, and I made the mistake to try to control. I was wrong, and I should’ve let you know this. But you have to understand, I never wanted to hurt you. Do you recall yourself crying? This life we built together was what we fell on when times got rough. It was so familiar, and such a part of us; a pillow to embrace the fall when all seemed to be crashing down. This wasn’t always easy, but we dedicated ourselves to the bit–broken parts and mended hearts, and that became our never-ending practice. Flowers on the kitchen table were warmth to your soul, and those tears from your cheek kept those flowers alive; wilted roses reminded me of the flaws. I promise you did everything you could, and I was happy to have been a part of it all, to be the witness to your blossoming. 

Do you remember the ocean ahead so crystal blue, bare feet soaked in the sand, those arms in the air, as I swung you in full-circle around? Do you recall me smiling back at you–your smile could’ve made all in attendance so completely warm inside. It made me warm, as the ocean breeze brought chills to our tender bones. Do you remember building a sandcastle bigger than mine? Did you know I had not the slightest idea of how to build my own? You gave your helping hand, and all I knew was that I wanted to be a part of your adventure.

Do you recall being a child once? Do you ever think us as two childhood friends, yearning for the simple comfort of being in each other’s company forever? 

Do you ever think to peer up? Above these clouded skies, all is blue. Do you ever think to look past it all, and imagine forever blue skies?

I do.

I do remember the promise I once made, and have held it so close, even in absence of the one thing that made it possible. I do recall those long walks through neighborhood streets under glowing lampposts, and how I promised to carry you even after the night left us. I remember the infinite stars above, and recall thinking forth the many wonderous years it would’ve taken to count them all with you. I remember how you enjoyed throwing off my count on purpose–I sit here reminiscing how naturally playful you were. Blue was the sky that always introduced a new day, you in your blue-colored sweater dancing to the music spinning off the record player in the living room. You were a sensitive soul, such a beautiful soul, a deep thinker, and so true to yourself. You valued honesty, self-expression, and divine conversation–you reminded me so much of myself. From the perspective of those observing, we were two blue auras dancing in a room together. 

Blue is this song spinning on repeat in the background.

Blue is the jay I see out this window, delicate in flight. 

Blue are the feelings I recall of you. 

Blue is this sky in front of me, as I remember it all.