To the newcomers, welcome. To those returning–hell yeah! Welcome back. I'll start with saying that this experience is as much a gift to you as it is for myself, to be able to share myself with you in this type of form. Let me go ahead and brief on what’s to be expected with coming by–over years, I have gratefully accumulated stories, experiences, memories, and moments from all over. I have traveled to and from. I have met many beautiful people along the way who have been so kind enough to share themselves with me. I have been gifted such inspiring stories by those, and have been inspired to create my own. And to this day, I desire the passion of continuing this journey that way. This content captures personal experiences, moments, imagination brought to life in the form of journals and narratives, photos taken along the roads less traveled–sincerely, who’s to truly know the extent of what's to come? I do thank you for allowing me to introduce this to you, and I do thank you for being a part of this. It is my utmost pleasure to be inviting you in. So with further ado my friend, kick back, relax, and enjoy. I am so glad to have you here.
-Ian
OUT ON A RAINY DAY
Nov. 26, 2024
Out on a rainy day.
Because a day of rain, to me, should be spent as a day in the rain,
With the rain.
Why should rain confine us to our space of safety,
When, to me, dancing in the rain sounds much more inviting.
Here at one of my favorite little cafes
Nestled in the ever-charming Summerland, California.
On a normal day, this place brings joy.
But
On a rainy day, this space embodies a warm, comforting soul–
The patrons are cozied inside;
Etta James serenading all ears.
They awe
Like children
At the drops dancing on the windows next to their seats–
The warmth of the kitchen & corner furnace
Warms our souls from within.
My coffee in hand
With each sip
Can be felt sliding down my throat
Hugging my heart
To my stomach
A little extra.
I feel
That time slows with the essence of rain,
The little things become a bit more enjoyable:
Our senses livened,
Feeling in fullness the refreshing chill
The open door allows into the space
As a few more patrons settle in.
Our inspiration surfaced,
As the words flow
Through and out of me, with such grace.
Those around appear more present.
The nature scape breathes with aliveness
As the drops from above nourish its existence too.
The roof above my head allows me to watch
Peacefully & comforted.
Out on a rainy day–
I encourage you
To step out
From your common comfort space,
And instead experience your favorite places in a different way,
To roam the backroads with no sense of direction, but forth,
To get lost
not only on this physical plane,
But with your interior garden.
To feel
The newness that the rain brings on a rainy day.
And to be a part of what makes this rainy day
Just a little bit more beautiful.
* * *
Summerland Cafe, Summerland California
Table for one @ their wooden bar
11:30 AM
NEW DAY AFFIRMATIONS
August 7, 2024
Life’s simple, you see.
There is pure connection between you and me.
We be in this moment who we are meant to be.
The trees grow as they grow,
And the sea flows as the sea flows.
Below are the seeds that will grow,
And above presents the infinite possibilities.
All is perfect when you believe
That all that matters is this moment,
And to know that it’s all free for the taking.
With these two eyes we can see
The present that is your infinity.
Know you can be as you want to be–
An artist will paint their internal landscape
Onto the external canvas,
Into this physical plane.
We are all artists of our own masterpiece,
Of our own destiny.
We create this physical plane
Just as it presents internally.
Breathe–
We be just as we are meant to be
Always so perfectly.
Sincerely,
Ian
Playing: Experience by BADBADNOTGOOD
EBBS AND FLOWS
July 30, 2024
I think it's important, if not crucial, to remind ourselves that feeling less than our best self is simply okay. More so, completely normal.
It’s a part of this timeline to feel the whole spectrum of emotions, to be completely okay with each and every one of them, and to not suppress, shun, run away from, or disregard them for being what they are. The simple fact is this: emotions are just emotions, until we put meaning to them. In fact, anger is only just anger, guilt is just guilt, happiness just happiness, sadness just sadness, bliss just bliss–simple emotions formed as simply emotions, until we let our thought-filled mind seep in, and overcome the presence of feeling such emotions. Emotions without meaning can be felt and accepted as is, and nothing more. Furthermore, no matter the emotion, they are all temporary and shall pass with the ebbs and flows of life.
Also, remind yourself that life will always consist of the ebbs and flows in its most natural form–the more you accept the flow for what it is, the quicker you'll find enjoyment in riding the waves, even as they crash; the more you'll find peace and gratitude when the current is calm.
I suppose I come here today to not just remind you, but to remind myself that all is okay, even when the mix of emotions tells me to think otherwise. This is a reminder to be humble, to be kind to yourself. To be able to find peace and gratitude in the ebbs, when the flow is a bit too strong, is a state in which we all can achieve through the simple knowing that this life is truly out of our control. There is something beyond us, much bigger than us, that knows the bigger picture at all moments, and works in favor of us always. Our job is to simply accept what we are as we are, and just let the current be.
Breathe in, my friend, and exhale the pure love for this gift that is life.
(BACK) HOME
June 11, 2024
Today I reflect…
It’s been roughly two months since landing back–let me tell you, it's taken me these two months to be able to process it all, to finally sit with myself and accept, to just be with, and fully reflect on how it all feels. And man, it has felt SO good being back. I’ve missed this place. I’ve missed the feeling of feeling back at home, with familiar places, familiar faces, love and creativity all around, and at a place in my life where I get to be with myself again, learning, growing, and ever-evolving.
I am (again) nestled in beautiful Ventura, California–
Rested ever so nicely amongst endless cascading palm trees, beautiful beaches, rusty classic whips, creative souls, the perfect ratio of coffee shops to breweries, and (my god, let me tell you) infinite-pizza options. Absolute Heaven (a slice of heaven?) To each his own, I suppose.
Again, I sit here, at my local favorite coffee shop, Prospect, and just sit reflecting, taking in the surroundings, the people, the energy. After a fast-paced last two months, I am finally feeling adapted, a part of, and at complete peace with it all. The warm welcome back was given the day I touched back down.
Needless to say, after a big tail end of a year last year with some dramatic changes and needed shifts, I do feel that this time around will bring forth some amazing milestones. I just have this refreshing, reassuring feeling–a loving current flowing with me, yet only God knows the bigger picture. More than ever, I am feeling resilient, confident, and in complete surrender to it all.
This is easily becoming my favorite chapter thus far.
Thank you always for being a part.
I love you all.
#DESERTTIMEMACHINE
May 1, 2024
Timeless (adj.) : not affected by the passage of time
Okay, so I might have went a little overboard with the pit-stops and detours. Do I regret it? Meh, well here's the story...I was on the road to Vegas for a quick night stay–awaiting my arrival was a long anticipated show: Khruangbin w/ Hermanos Gutierrez. What was supposed to be a relatively easy 5-hr drive turned into stop after stop, photo after photo (and a ridiculous 8-hr arrival–just enough time for my tired ass to squeeze a power nap before the venue doors opened). The show was absolute magic.
I returned home the following day with 1. a ridiculous hangover 2. a shocking collection of photos taken on the road in my camera roll. Upon uploading the photos, I went to edit one and, by complete mistake, added a b&w filter to it–it was my intention to edit them all in color, mind this, but my mistake created the vibe that I was troubling to create prior.
Timeless were these roadside stops, and something about painting the captures in b&w kept each so frozen in time, like scrolling through a treasured desert time capsule.
A two-part series: #deserttimemachine
MUSIC, AND ITS INSPIRATION
March 28, 2024
Today I was skimming through my Words, and realized I have accumulated a lot since I first published this site back in 2020. You may have thoughts of how I get into the mindset and creative state to curate the writings I do. I felt the need to share with you my little secret: music. Since Gerber days, I have always been surrounded by music, waking up to some sort of new melody playing through my ears. Because so, I really can't go a single day without it. Music has become such a muse, an outlet of expression for myself, of release, of creative spark. Specific songs have put me into places of deep meditative state; others have amplified ideas, and have even influenced characters and storylines. Albums have projected me to completely new places. Certain tempos bring forth strong feelings and heightened senses. Today I decided to go back into my writings, and tag the songs, artists, or radios that went into inspiring the work–I think it'll add another exciting layer to your experience as the reader. You now have the soundtrack to somewhat access my mind with, and feel, possibly, what I did when writing what I did. You may even find the writings more enticing and enhanced with the track(s) to compliment. You will notice that some writings don't have a tag. That's because some writings, I have found, are just better off complimented by nature's music. Music is everywhere and in many forms. Music brings forth feelings, emotions, and inspiration. Let the music play–feel its magic flowing through you.
Now you know my secret, and this one you can share.
Words//
As I write this,
Playing: Success by Interpol
GRATEFUL FOR
March 27, 2024
Thank you
For being you.
Thank you
For being whole,
Completely wholesome,
Someone to love,
And someone of love.
Thank you
For being here,
Present,
Unified with all,
And content
With it all.
Thank you
For accepting all that is,
And for letting what is
Just be.
For loving Earth
As Earth has always loved you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you
For all that you are
Just as you are.
I am so grateful for you.
THE REMINDER YOU NEEDED: TO JUST BE
March 6, 2024
Remind yourself of this much:
To just be.
The ebbs will never be without the flow.
Who are we to pretend all is perfect
When perfection will never exist without its counterpart?
Feel it all
For this is part of the healing.
Embrace the greatness as this will project a beautiful day,
But also know that rainy days will come.
In the meantime, learn to dance for when those days come,
For they will come.
Don't be afraid to lean into it,
And feel it all completely.
Don’t be afraid to lean on those who have been there at the lows.
Keep them around as long as possible,
For they accept the flawed you,
For they understand the reality of true existence,
For they too understand what it means to just be.
Trees grow, to lose it all,
But will grow again as the reminder
That the cycle will bring forth beauty again.
Smile with this reminder, and just be my friend.
–sending my love to you all.
MOMENTS SUSPENDED IN TIME
March 6, 2024
Eyes closed. Everything is okay–I envision what is ideal for this moment to feel right.
A warm embrace reminds me of the connection.
You smile.
I hold onto the thought of it for as long as possible.
I can’t help but feel completely invested in this feeling of such a reality.
Eyes open, and what was is no longer.
The feeling of your embrace gone in seconds.
It’s funny–the last time I opened my eyes, the fantasy was reality.
The smile was waiting for me.
Connection between us was, in fact, real.
I should’ve known to be hesitant when closing my eyes this time.
But how was I supposed to know?
How are we ever supposed to know?
To know that now I need to close these eyes to remember,
To feel,
To connect with such moments again,
Will find me in a dream state moments forth.
Such moments
Will forever be suspended in time.
ALL IN GOOD COMPANY
Feb. 15, 2024
All that was needed was simple, good company.
From the Sonoran to the Mojave, a couple friends awaited my arrival as I hit the road. The forecast wasn't all too favorable going into the next few days, with quite the downpour awaiting my arrival into California. The sun rising behind me, however, reassured a beautiful drive ahead.
Roadside attractions always seem to provide the needed excitement on these lengthy road trips. A cafe cottage atop the mountain signified an hour left of my drive. I could almost see my friend's house in the distance, as I stood there in the rain like a complete fool capturing the must-needed photo of this moody, little cafe–classic me.
Vibes at their place were relaxed, cozy, light, and simple. That's all we truly needed, I feel. The rain outside their home kept us in for most the visit. These moments together, however–chatting updates together, joking good times together, sharing thoughts together, just being in company together–were nothing more but right. So much change has and is still occurring amongst us three, and it was refreshing to have the place and time to truly reflect and share, in a safe space, amongst a group that truly cared, listened, and appreciated. That first eve, we got away for a bit to a local lake town. Arlene's truck is a rear-wheel and the roads were slippery. Kevin killed it behind the wheel. Bless you, good sir.
I left my camera at home, and phone use was minimal. Like kids, we trace around Lake Hughes with not a single care. The reflection bouncing off the subtle currents faded within 20 minutes time, as the daytime sun shined its final rays of light. It was us three, just in the simple company of one another, as the night time falls around us, and it was so pure. I would peer and see Arlene in her own little world, not afraid to be. Kevin and I were bouncing jokes off one another, as guys like us do. But all in fun. All innocence. The night just began, and the life flowing through us was alive and connected. Kevin dominated those dark roads back home in that pick-up like a champion. We cheered our first beers back at the house to that. Cracked some more open, and cheered a few more...then a couple more...then found our merry selves watching Society of the Snow. I thought it was a great film, but I was also a handful of beers deep. Watched it again with my parents recently, and it was just as amazing. Promise.
Last thought of that day: it's not every day one gets to witness both the sunrise and sunset.
The next day was all for her. The birthday girl mentioned wanting to see snow, and with the rainfall having remained persistent overnight, the chance of fresh powder was definitely in our favor. Before anything though, coffee, breakfast...and birthday cake? With our daily dose of sugar, double layered pants, big jackets, and snow boots (Arlene forgot hers), we hit the road to Frazier Park. I drove this time–I could tell they were a bit uneasy with this, Arlene backseat, ready with the beers in the cooler.
I think, for me, it was this part of the trip that really warmed me. We got to Frazier and found ourselves wandering this town so free and easy–wherever we ended up, we just went with that flow. A turn down a side road, we decide to pull aside and capture the fresh snowfall around us. Seeing Arlene so engulfed and carefree with the setting made me happy–it was her birthday after all. We had a comical occurrence shortly after–while on those backroads, we came across a car stuck in the snow with a tow truck driver attending to the situation. The tow truck had blocked our route, so we stopped to help. While chatting with the group with their car stuck, they mentioned they just-so-happened to be from the same town Arlene and Kevin are from. Furthermore, one of the brothers actually worked with Arlene at a previous job. We get a hellova good kick out of this. We tend to their situation as long as we could, until the snow began to fall dramatically. We decided to circle back, hoping them the best.
We find a spot on the side of the road not too long after, park the car, crack some beers from the cooler, recline our chairs, and decide to just be with the snowfall occurring around us. That was pure magic. I could tell from their expressions and energy, they were feeling the same exact way I was. The snowflakes covered my windshield slowly.
I take a look back at Arlene from my rear-view and she was giving me a look only I could know–she was hungry for some more snow, and I just knew it. From there we continued to the road up the mountain. Not too far in, we find ourselves at a dead end on the road. Cars were parked towards the closure, and people both left and right were seen playing in the freshly piled powder. I grab a handful and chuck a ball at Kevin's booty. Arlene laughs at this, and beelines towards the snow ahead. Her happiness in these moments was all I wanted for her today. Time irrelevant, as we spent countless moments throwing countless snowballs, valuing each others company. For a moment, I realize how cold my hands actually were. I look at Kevin and Arlene, and see smiles, and forget about my cold hands.
The day was beautiful. It was all in good company. We celebrated a birthday, but we also celebrated camaraderie.
Dinner brought burgers and tacos that night. Don't knock it until you've tried it. We all kept it easy for the remainder of the eve; we were beat–if I recall, birthday girl was in bed by 8:30 (lol). An unopened 12-pack of Modelo remained untouched on the kitchen counter.
The next morning I was out the door shy of 8:00 am for my second half of my trip: Joshua Tree. With a big hug for Arlene and a grab-ass for Kevin, we all shared our final good-byes for now.
A sincere thank you to you two, for being such welcoming hosts, the best snowball builders (talking to you Kev), and some of the most genuine friends one could have. You two are amazing.
And Happy freaking Birthday to you again, Arlene, you beautiful soul.
To our next venture.
All love~
FORGOTTEN AIRFORCE BASE, CALIFORNIA
Feb. 7, 2024
They say take the road less traveled...I will forever live by that.
A curious turn introduced blocks of forgotten cement walls. These roads were cracked with weeded life–echoing wind currents carried the settled debris.
I was alone–and tracing the steps of those hundreds that use to inhabit these buildings. Closing my eyes, I could almost feel the presence that once existed here.
Such beautiful decay...
Somewhere out there, California.
Never stop exploring.
JEROME, ARIZONA
Jan. 30, 2024
It's a strange looking place–a small town built along the Cleopatra hillside, one main road snaking up in a zig-zag-style formation through the town. Maybe your mind will wander, wondering: “what is this place?”
Jerome comes as more than just a desolate ghost town perched up on a hillside. Once said to be the largest copper mine of Arizona, its rich history will entice anyone to visit. Founded in 1876 as a copper mining camp, the town brought in people from all around the globe in pursuit of the great American dream–at one time, the population of Jerome peaked to roughly 15,000. A charming, bustling little town it was. Now, however, the locals will tell you about Jerome’s somewhat grim history: Jerome also stood as the wickedest town of the west. The success of the copper mine brought in the good of course: jobs, families, miners, but with that came the not so favorable–bootleggers, gamblers, violence, and the most infamous, prostitutes. Prostitution became greatly embedded in the soul of Jerome. The famed “Husband’s Alley,'' which was known as the town's red-light district, offered services to those who knew of the alley between Main St. and Hull Ave. With the onset of the Great Depression, the life of Jerome faded. The remaining 100 residents during that time strived to keep the heart of Jerome alive. What remains now is roughly 450 residents that come enriched with meaningful history, artistry, life, and a charm that's truly unexplainable until one experiences it for themselves. It’s also likely that for every two residents there is a wandering soul roaming nearby in the shadows, awaiting their midnight stroll in the desolate streets–boo.
Click here for my full experience.
Elevation: 5,066'
Population: 464
HIRAETH OF MY SOUL: A DREAM OF MINE
Jan. 10, 2024
It was this photo above that inspired me to resurface a recurring dream I used to have growing up. While on Pinterest the other day, I came across a photo of a house on a hill, with the Welsh word hiraeth and its definition accompanying it. This photo of a house on a hill brought me back to this dream I used to have around the age of 19 into my mid-twenties, of this pure-white Victorian home perched atop a hill, in the middle of the most breath-taking rolling plains. I had this dream once, and I was alone in it. Like any new dream, the memory of it faded in time. It then occurred once more, yet, with a friend of mine at the time joining me in the dream. Having the dream occur more than once, the memory of it and its detail have remained rather concrete to this day.
Since then to now, I’ve had myself some strange occurrences of that dream: there have been numerous times a photo that resembled the house on the hill would randomly pop up, whether through a social media post, a magazine article, google search, you name it–but I would either laugh in amusement and move on or just completely dismiss the coincidence. However, this particular photo I came across on Pinterest was different. It came with a word I had never seen before: hiraeth. And kid you not, not just the word itself, but the definition, as well as it presenting with a photo that resembled the house in my dream, it was extremely hard to dismiss it as just a coincidence this time. I just knew I had to bring this dream back to life.
To the best of my recollection (lol), I introduce to you Hiraeth of My Soul.
After the second occurrence of the dream, I recall waking up that morning so renewed, as if our souls went through some sort of deeper experience. That house did and still does bring me so much peace when I think of it. The friendship with that friend was fading at the time for its own reasons, so to this day, I have never shared this dream with her. I’ve never questioned that however–I feel it was supposed to be that way.
A soul's journey is an experience beyond us.
Hope you guys enjoy!
THE OFF-ROADS OF RIO VERDE
Jan. 7, 2024
So during a winter in the desert, when it’s too cold to paddle the lakes or hop on your bike and cycle around town, what does one nature-loving guy do? Well, you’d think “Just stay inside, Ian. It’s not the end of the world.” Or “Heck, if you insist on being outside, just go on a hike dude.” I say “Nah” to both, grab my car, and hit the roads less traveled, literally.
Fun fact about me. When I’m not so nose-in-a-book about my spiritual practice, I actually enjoy staying pretty active. I’ve never been one to coop myself up too long–it's as if a little sensor in me goes off every couple days reminding me to “get the hell outside, mate.” Fun fact #2: I’m also convinced my consciousness is Australian. I did truly wake up telling myself I was going to go on a hike today–threw on my hiking gear, packed myself a protein bar, and headed towards the open desert–but let me tell you, upon approaching the openness of the Rio Verde desert-scape, those dirt roads around every new bend were begging to be torn up. I also just purchased a Crosstrek not too long ago, and man, AWD is an absolute parallel to true love.
My take away from today in the dirt:
1. Off-roading is my new favorite pastime.
2. What would be an experience if I couldn’t tie it into spirituality somehow (lol, sorry).
I’ve been off-roading before, with friends, with the wrong car, and every time it is such a child-like enjoyment of a ride. For me this time however, it was a bit different–being by myself, off-roading in the desert became much more of a meditative experience. I found that, with being isolated with myself, I was somewhat forced to be in the moment; every move made had to be made with such precision. There’s immense bumps, grooves, and turns that you always have to be ready for, and if you’re not, your car is going to really despise you. But it’s also extremely exhilarating too…that excitement of “Oh, what’s around that corner?” is so just refreshing. You don’t know what's going to be around that corner; you don’t know what's going to be on the road ahead. You're just going, driven by innocent curiosity, hoping that there's a way out eventually. And I suppose, in a spiritual sense, it brings you to a place of just being with that moment, being present, and with yourself. Windows down, taking in nature’s breath–it's a great feeling. It’s healing.
Being off-road, off the pavement, with your car in nature, you really appreciate the nature around you. I mean everything in nature, like the rocks that you are driving over–you consider which rock you’re going to run over, as one too-pointed rock may pop a tire. Or you’re passing a shrub or a bush, and you really consider how exactly you plan on maneuvering around that bush. As silly as it is, you take in your surroundings much more, because you're forced to–it's just you and nature. A simple construct and such a beautiful thing. When off-roading, there's no guaranteed path, no guaranteed road that's paved for you. You're making the calls, your own path essentially–you can choose to go left, right, up, or down, and you have ultimate control of that decision. But in a very calming sense, nature will guide you, and when tuned in, you can feel that guidance. And I find a sense of peace in that–any fear subsides. Again, you might hit the most intense terrain, but it's okay because you can take your time; nature will not rush you. You will make it up that hill, or around that bend, or through that groove. And if not, reassess. Nature doesn't judge you. Nature’s a great companion.
3. Get yourself a Subi. They're kind of badass.
NEW DAY AFFIRMATIONS
Jan. 4, 2024
Take a deep breath…
Inhale,
Hold.
For a few seconds, appreciate all that you are.
Embrace how perfect you have been created,
Right here, right now.
Exhale.
Take a deep breath…
Inhale,
Hold.
For a few seconds more, appreciate how far you’ve come.
Life is a gift.
Something bigger than us is guiding us always
In such pure love.
Exhale.
Release all fear.
Take one more deep breath…
Inhale,
Hold.
Affirm to yourself this:
You are much larger than this Earth.
You are connected to streams of absolute bliss & perfection
Flowing through these cosmos above.
Anything is possible.
Exhale.
Believe.
This warming desire within is enough.
All you must do is accept its existence.
Believe, breathe, and be.
Much love to you today & always.
A Billion Different Suns
Jan. 3, 2024
The sun will rise above horizons,
And cast light upon a new day.
Infinite hues of orange;
Infinite hues of blue above.
What if I was to tell you:
This experience is happening within you.
They say the mind controls you.
However,
It's all a funny paradox you see.
This mind works just as you allow it to,
As you decide it to.
We control this mind stuff,
Not quite the other way around.
We create the experience.
Our mind is the projector
Upon this screen we call life.
The sun shines a different orange for you,
As it does for me.
The sky is always blue,
Yet what blue is it for you?
Spring trees will bloom.
Newness grows from the branches
As nature’s guarantee that will persevere.
Flowers come as nature’s gift.
A fresh green brushstroke in nature’s presence,
And a pastel vibrancy paints the inflorescence.
One might take a moment and smell the flowers.
Some may never see the green,
Or the pastel painted canvas.
Some may see it all–
I see it all too.
Yet my green is different than yours,
And the array of colors that paint this canvas
Is a different rainbow.
We all experience a different Spring, you see.
We all experience a different sunrise.
The glow to your sunset glows a bit differently.
Nature’s experience is one experience–
One experience occurring one way in one moment.
Yet,
The same experience is being experienced in infinite different ways
By us experiencing it.
Nevertheless,
The sun will rise.
The trees will bloom.
The flowers will blossom.
Nature will be.
How will you be?
-Ian
Oh, and let's chime in 2024!
A beautiful new year to you all, my friends.
ARCOSANTI
Dec. 20, 2023
Very much alive in a strange sense...those dwelling here can be seen peeking through windows in the distance from time to time, or heard in their workshops hammering the bronze and ceramic bells together. Oddly though, silent of word exchange to my ears, and if so, very faint to any curious passerby. In the shadows they live in harmony with one another, as one would anticipate. The property sits nestled calmly within the desert landscape...
Paolo Soleri was a luminary and quite the visionary of his time. In 1979, he introduced the profound architectural concept of "arcology", which uniquely combines architecture and ecology, an idea he said would create harmony with nature. As the brainchild of Soleri, in 1970 Arcosanti was born. What intrigues and attracts most to the location is that Arcosanti was designed as a literal living urban experiment structured around Soleri's philosophies toward arcology. Numerous residents live on premise and agree to partake in his project daily. As to what the agreements entail, and to what life as a resident is like, those curious to ask will be left with "It's actually a very wonderful place... full of creative expression, involvement, and influence... it's lovely really." One resident carried a hesitant smile when I engaged in this conversation with her; friendly, yet peering through me with an uneasy gaze. I couldn't help but question her response. Today, with Soleri's death having occurred in 2013, it is said the experiment is still very much alive and ongoing amongst its residents, with Soleri's influence still strongly imprinted in the soil. Regardless of what life truly is like at Arcosanti, the grounds are quite mystifying, futuristic, and impelling, like taking a walk through Anakin's hometown of Mos Espa.
Arcosanti, AZ, 13555 S Cross L Road
MISSION SAN XAVIER DEL BAC
Nov. 2,2023
Dia De Los Muertos in Tucson, Arizona.
La Terra Dei Santi
Mission San Xavier Del Bac, circa 1700
1950 W San Xavier Rd.
A SHORT DRIVE NORTH
Oct. 27, 2023
It's quite refreshing having a free Friday to explore–no agenda, no checklist, just pure openness to do essentially whatever the day decides. Gathering up a couple of local tour guides who know the area much better than I do (hi mom & sis), why not take a short drive north for an enjoyable desert photoshoot?
For being fifty by the way, my mother still kicks ass.
oh, and that beating sun carried no mercy. sunblock left at home–yay
DESERT HAWK
Oct. 15, 2023
This project began over a year ago. Let's just let that sink in. Picked it up, left it, picked it back up, such a constant never-ending cycle... endless hours at coffee shops, airport terminals, drowned in whatever inspiration I could sprawl up. I always knew one thing though, that I wanted this project completed.
What makes this story so incredibly endearing is that it truly grew with me. In the last year, I have grown more than I have ever before in my life–healed, stronger, harmonized, wiser. This story pieced together just as it was suppose to, when it was suppose to, and that's been so refreshing to say. The timeline was never forced. The story begged to present as I allowed it to.
Here I am now residing in Scottsdale, Arizona. Life's a trip ay? A lot has changed. I sat down a few days after my move and meditated outside. Not knowing where my mind would take me that morning, of course, I let it. Let it just be known that for the longest time, I admit, I've remained completely stunted on the direction I wanted to take this story. I was lacking the inspiration. The drive towards creating just didn't seem as strong as I was hoping. I pushed it aside. It sat, incomplete for months. But the reminder that I knew I wanted this project completed kept me with it. Time did its thing. So that morning, there I was meditating. I closed my eyes, sat with myself, and just like that–I began walking that desert as her, feeling the emotions as her, picking up the story right where I had left it. I tapped into the inspiration I needed that morning. By that evening, the story was complete. To think it took me being here in the actual desert, months and months into the future of first beginning this project, to finally finish it–the absolute unfathomable irony of that.
This story is no longer just a journey of a young girl roaming the desert, as much as I intended it to be. It is now portrayed as the journey I had to endure myself to complete it for you.
Long in the making friends! I present to you Desert Hawk.
Let this journey forever take you, just as you are...
And make the promise to yourself to forever grow with the flow.
FOURTILLFOUR, PORSCHE MEET UP
FOURTILLFOUR CAFE, Scottsdale
Oct. 9, 2023
First Saturday calls for all things Porsche at the Fourtillfour Cafe. Car enthusiasts from all around come through for their quick classic car fix, and a damn tasty espresso of course.
This was my first time attending one of these meets. Up at the crack of dawn, because you know, early bird gets the worm. Brought out my camera and snagged a few clips! It was such a great experience witnessing the community come together so organically at the space, for the shared love for classic cars and coffee.
Pioneers at putting on some badass car meets, the fellas at Fourtillfour are no amateurs at their craft. Every weekend, the cafe gathers some of the best around, showcasing classic Porsches, air-cooled VWs, zippy European JDMs, vintage off-roaders & cycles. If you ever find yourself in Scottsdale (or in Encinitas at their second location), make yourself the visit. They will be the reason why you purchase yourself a classic.
Click here for a calendar of their car meets.
Fourtillfour Cafe, 7105 E 1st Ave.
DAYDREAMING
Sept. 14, 2023
Are we really awake?
We experience what is through eyes that we believe are always open.
But are they really open?
In a dream,
Within a dream, within a dream.
What is reality really?
Think about the idea that
What we are experiencing might in fact be just a constant daydream,
Reality can be possible too,
But again, one may never know
Until they finally wake up from this daydream.
Life is but a dream
Until you wake up from this dream.
Life is but a daydream
Until one realizes they have been dreaming all along.
THIS IS MAGIC
August 18, 2023
This is our own place,
Our own space,
As we have decided to create it.
The fact that we can solely
Create this space that is,
Is somewhat profound.
Don't you think?
These are our own dreams
That we decide to dream.
Why not dream the dreams worth dreaming,
And create this life worth living?
We are the creators of all that exists here for us.
We breathe this air around,
And can place ourselves in that space worth breathing in.
We build the relationships we do
For they reflect who we have decided to be.
We fear for no reason,
Because why fear that that can be redirected?
Reassessed.
Rearranged.
Reformed.
Fear is the incapability of control over ourselves,
Of understanding this truth.
We are the architects of our own existence.
Tune into this.
If I was to ask you
Do you believe in magic?
Well listen in, this is magic.
Just believe, feel this, and let be.
New day affirmation ~
COFFEE SHOP SIPPING
July 14, 2023
Sitting…thinking…
Peering…thinking…
Something about the energy of a coffee shop puts me into a natural, neutral, deep trance, transported somewhere completely different mentally, creatively, and philosophically–God, how I love the feeling.
I’m here sitting. My partner across from me does the same. She’s deep in her daily agenda, so I hesitate to bother. But I do peer her way and a warmth comes over me. I feel such a sincere appreciation for her. But not just her physical being; more-so deeply, as if her soul is in full communication with mine while me peering towards her, without even a single word exchanged between us two. Feelings of love, of light, overwhelm my physical being.
It's this oddly deeper connection I feel for everyone and everything within this space, as I casually peer around. I am connected at a deeper level with all that is–and strangely, I can feel this, sense this, know this.
When present to this moment, relaxed, and at ease, here in this coffee shop, I truly feel the aliveness and deeper connectedness of all that is.
Sipping this coffee slowly. I breathe…
We all breathe in sequence.
DEXTERS
Ya photo nerds...
July 12,2023
So it's easy to see, this shop is an absolute vibe.
As an out-of-towner, all a photographer can ask for when moving into a new town is a vibey ass camera shop. With the already-pleasing charm of Ventura, coming across Dexter's one random weekday was essential the cherry on top. The ease of being able to bike to the shop is all the more reason to completely love the place!
Walk in, and you're invited with the shop's classic "grandfather's den" feel—nostalgia, memorabilia, and oh-so-many cameras in every little nook and cranny. The professionals behind the counter are always welcoming and willing to help. You have film to develop? They got you. More film? Too many options. Stoked about that money shot worth hanging on your wall? They'll print that. Looking for a new camera to toy with? Sick. Check out their selection of refurbed digital and film cameras. Merch? Walk out feeling like a million with a Dexter's cap on your noggin. This place has a beautiful sense of welcoming, a place where a photo nerd can feel full belonging, where picking the brains of the professionals there isn't an intimidating task but rather refreshing, where you can truly walk out feeling just a bit more accomplished and inspired.
Plus, Jesus on the wall reminds you that you're exactly where you're suppose to be.
Dexter's Camera, 5 N Pacific Ave.
NEW DAY AFFIRMATIONS
March 24, 2023
Let's introduce this lovely Friday morning with some affirmations.
Breathe in and repeat to yourself:
I am perfect, whole, and complete.
I am a natural magnet attracting all abundance and miracles occurring here and now.
I am a natural creator of my life, so I will create the life I desire.
My thoughts manifest into my reality.
This universe knows what I desire most, and has already created it all for me.
Believe in this, and let be.
All is perfect right here and now.
Breathe once more into this moment. Exhale.
Have a blessed Friday, my friends.
Sending all good vibes your way.
RAN INTO THE OCEAN IN THE RAIN
March 17, 2023
I just recently returned from an overnight stay in the central coast. Drove up to visit a friend living in the quant town of Santa Maria, her place bordering Pismo (we could walk to the Oceano Dunes from her place; pretty incredible). For those familiar with the weather out here in California lately will know that the forecast has been extremely moody, utterly bipolar, and oh-so wet, so as one would imagine, the roads out here have been literal adult-version slip-n-slides. However, funky weather out of the way yo (!)—an unfavorable forecast has never stopped me. In fact, it was all the more reason to be ridiculously stoked for this mini road trip through coastlines and backcountry. Packed my bags and I was on my way.
For those that know me will know that it's an absolute must to fit in little stops on every road trip I take. Within an hour, I was already at my first stop. Detoured a few minutes inland into the quaint town of Ballard for a quick Bob's Well Bread coffee and English muff-muff fix (highly recommend making Bob's a must when in the area. You'll thank me later). Pulled off the highway shortly after for the perfect snaps of some cows grazin' the rolling hillsides—moo. Most of the drive did consist of dense rain and gloom, but in those few moments that the rain eased, I was in complete bliss of the sheer beauty revealed around me. I made one more stop in Arroyo Grande to top off some gas, grab yet another cup of coffee at Banner Coffee Co., before arriving at her place shortly after.
So complete rookie mistake, I forget to pack my camera charger. My friend's apartment was adjacent to the beautiful monarch butterfly grove and the stunning eucalyptus trees that blanketed the surrounding area. I chose to leave my camera behind as we strolled the area (I had one more day up there, and decided to save my camera juice for the next day). The rain was pretty consistent, but light enough to still enjoy the stroll. She had mentioned how the beach was just beyond the grove, and walking distance; we hopped in her car and drove to avoid soggy socks. Once there, as essentially the only ones there, like innocent kids with no better ideas, we decided to run into the ocean in the rain. Let me tell you, that initial shock absolutely sucks (!) but once that passes, my God, how livening the experience is. Time froze in those moments—how I love that feeling. I was so alive in those moments. Toes completely numb, but oddly, I was so at ease with it.
Another friend joined us late that eve. The remaining hours consisted of local take-out, cheap canned cocktails, Super Smash Bros., and just a whole lotta' nonsense. Find yourself some friends who have the same ridiculous secret language as you. It's incredible.
Beating the break of dawn, we found ourselves at The Steaming Bean in Shell Beach early the next morning. Their breakfast burritos—oh my! From there, we headed to the northern point of Montana De Oro State Park to catch what was such a surprising, post-rainfall calm mystification. The day prior brought it's moodiness, but today the scenescape presented in such an ever-pleasing fashion. The air was still rather damp, but completely refreshing and new. Morro Rock silhouetted shyly within the distant mist. Of course, we drove into town shortly after to touch the big rock. It's only tradition.
We were running on fumes (blame age), so after bouncing around town a bit, to end our day on a light note before hitting the road back home, we replenished ourselves with some burgers, beer, and some final laughs at SLO Brew in San Luis Obispo. Back at her apartment, we packed our bags and shared our goodbyes for now.
We ran into the ocean in the rain—how ridiculous. The weather was definitely not the most ideal during the trip I'd say, but a few great friends got together with a drive for adventure regardless, and incredible memories were created. Life's short, remember this. Think less and make the best of what is always.
I will dominate you with Kirby in a game of Super Smash Bros. by the way.
Peace and love always, my friends.
LIKE WATER...
Feb. 23, 2023
Fair to say love is extremely patient?
Hello again, and with a year from then to now [ouch], I embarrassingly thank you for remaining so with me here. Still with me here?
So let's take the topic of love and elaborate a bit.
Love is our friends. Love is our family…
Love is the air we breathe…
Love is comforting, when you know your readers anticipated this article much sooner.
Love is flowers for your lover.
Love is Thai food brought home by your lover…thanks babe.
These were a few ideas shared by some, but with only ideas we are still left with the original question: What exactly is love?
Let's hope I captured a better sense here for you guys.
Man oh man, how I appreciate you all for sticking with me here (lol).
Love you all.
2022 - How Are You?
Dec. 2, 2022
Yes. A lot has changed since I last posted on this journal…blog? …forum?
Any who. I suppose the short answer to my hiatus would be simple—life.
To no surprise, yes, life gets in the way sometimes. Too often sometimes.
However. In other news, I am now residing in Ventura, California—woohoo!
One could say this move has definitely humbled me. It’s brought me to a place, a smaller town, where I am now faced with finding my place in it all; the bustle of the city was once a familiar blanket draped over what was truly and transparently a sorry excuse to figuring myself out (sigh). Now here I am. And hell, I am doing great! Better than ever I would say. I have happily and confidently grown more this year than I have in the course of my existence! I'm presented with a beautiful new canvas, and surrounded by an absolutely stunning setting! I'm engulfed within a new community, and encompassed by many creative, like-minded individuals, building new friendships and family every day! Blinders off, I suppose, and now clearer vision. Truly blessed.
I am ever evolving.
That much I have come to accept, with always knowing, and I am more on board with the change than ever.
With this year in its final moments, I can happily look back and say “thank you” to myself and to those who took part.
I think for the sake of now enjoying the ride of this wave, I will prioritize this journal when I feel it is organically appealing to myself. I will not be giving up on my posts completely; in fact, never ever—that's absolute crazy talk. I just rather not feel the forceful inclination to put out content, but let it happen in a natural essence. I feel this will give a much more authentic presentation for you all, as that has always been my intention. I have a sincere love for content creating, and couldn’t have a much more burning desire to do so for sharing it with you all!
Thank you always for being a part of my wild evolution [cough with my dramatism]. But sincerely, and as I have stated before, God only knows where this journey [journal] will take me.
To one hell ova' year. Cheers to 2022!
*cue woo-girl*
Love always,
Ian
What is love?
Feb. 26, 2021
With love still in the air and presumably relevant, I'm left with a lingering thought.
It's a question that has so many stumped. I'm even a bit dubious of my own definition. Is there even a definitive answer?
Before giving forth my thoughts on the topic, I'm curious about your approach to the question: what is love? Share your thoughts, and I'll share mine in a post to come!
As always, thank you. All my love and gratitude for sticking around.
Spread the love in your own special way today!
Until next time,
Ian
Coffee IN The morning
Zenbunni Coffee, certified Biodynamic
And fair to say, sometimes, more-so most times, a morning routine saves our early morning souls.
Feb. 22, 2021
So you ask: what might my morning routine look like? I'd answer similar to many, "You know, roll out of bed and pray that the alfalfa from the morning before isn't haunting the back of my head again. Splash some cold water on my face …a little more today because my eyes just can't seem to open. Get the coffee a'brewin. Emails. Maybe 10 push-ups to say I worked out today." However, because I'm so precise about things (and my girlfriend could vouch), a cup of joe and checking emails is more like this: a gooseneck kettle set to 205° exactly, a Chemex prepared on the side, filter on top filled with the perfect beans, preferably ZenBunni Coffee, ground finely. And emails? Well, lets just say I spend at least 10 minutes staring at the nail holes scattered all over the wall across from me like stars in the night sky, then 10 staring at my outdated popcorn ceiling asking why, 10 staring at my girlfriend as she wonders why I'm staring, then like, I don't know, 10 more minutes figuring out my password to my email after noting I have changed it like 10 times in the last 10 days. From there, and after a productive 40 minutes of sure-nothing, I gather myself finally and brainstorm new website content. Boiling water seeps the grounds, as the coffee slowly brews into the Chemex chamber. I step away from my computer precisely every 3-5 minutes adding more water to the grounds as the fresh brew presents itself. I've adapted to waking up with the sun, so by 7:30am, I'm set up with my coffee, laptop, and morning confidence. I light some incense, crack open the back door, and let the essence of the new day overcome the space. I promise you I don't have an OCD problem—well maybe slightly.
I also journal daily. Stepping outside to my patio space, I'm introduced to the day and journal my new-day intentions, and let me tell you, that has become one of the finest elements to my morning routine.
I send my thank you's to Zen, Bunni, and baby Alchemy of ZenBunni Coffee. They are such beautiful people all around and have been gracious enough to delight my mornings with their coffee, Coffee of the Cosmos. From Ventura, California, ZenBunni Coffee supports Regenerative and Biodynamic farming with every bag of beans made by restoring soil fertility, enhancing biodiversity, sequestering carbon, and literally reversing climate change!—and, thus, has easily become a leading choice for my coffee needs. My preferred ways of preparation are: a Chemex brew (pour-over method), which produces a smooth, slightly silky, clean, light, and rounded cup of coffee; or a brew with an Italian espresso maker, which produces a much bolder, full-bodied, and robust cup, amplifying the grand taste profile of the coffee. Choice of method depending on my mood of course. Taste profile of Coffee of the Cosmos being as such: silky, medium-roast, with lovely notes of chocolate and caramel, and the perfect hints of citrus.
Their natural incense, hand-rolled by Indonesian farmers with preserved and ancient traditions and technique, plays as a perfect morning addition. ZenBunni are the only folks in the world working in partnership with the Indonesian farm in curating such an incense—holy smoke!
Cheers to a new day!
And to think some days are just shitty
Feb. 1, 2021
“Ah geez, my neck hurts...my arm is completely twisted...ugh, it’s freezing inside this damn apartment...who the hell sets the AC to 59°?” Then you’re expected to go about your day.
You slug into the kitchen, and turn on the kettle. Mindlessly, you scroll through your newsfeed catching up on what you had missed overnight. This gives you an unnatural sense of calm. “Shit!”—the boiling water splattering all over the countertop was enough to wake you. You reach to grab a paper towel, and end up grabbing 10-too-many, struggling to rip off just the one, knocking over the whole paper towel holder with your tug. The plant sitting next to the holder falls over as well; specks of soil fall into your coffee grounds that have been patiently waiting to be brewed—you somehow manage to keep that phone of yours in one hand, with the newsfeed still live and showing; quite impressive. It’s only 7:15 a.m. at this time, and oh man, are you winded. “Gah, over it!”
You walk out the door, and your tote strap gets caught on the door handle on your way out. You hear the sound of a rip. “Great.” It’s not your tote strap that ripped, but darn, it’s your inner shirt sleeve. You had just bought that shirt, and it was final sale. The breeze tickles your armpit hole as you wave your arms in frustration. The coffee in your tumbler spills out of the sip-opening as you wave your arms about; you forgot you had the tumbler in hand, and you had definitely forgotten the sip-opening was still open—you were planning on closing that sip-opening earlier, but “Trevor’s post was so sick, man!” that, instead, you had to tap that thumb on that screen to like it. You almost slip on your loose shoelace as you scurry down the hallway, but hell yeah to you: you somehow manage to dodge that one. Your shoelace gets caught in the crack of the elevator door as it opens. The sudden force catapults you into the elevator abruptly. Thank God your sip-opening was closed this time...or as you had wished. It was still opened, and so was your newsfeed. Coffee stains accommodated that ripped sleeve quite nicely now. “Wait, is that coffee or soil?” You look up and awkwardly lock eyes with the man waiting his turn outside the elevator (he witnessed the whole charade go down)—the elevator door closes, breaking the unbearable stare between you two. The elevator descends to the lobby floor.
It’s 8:23 a.m., and you’ve already claimed the day as shit. The sun is out, but you never notice. Sometimes we just never notice...
A tidbit of what has easily become one of my favorite narratives. Find the rest here!
And to you my friend, wake up to the sun today, if you know you have the choice.
Absolute blue skies ~
Busto & Sun
Nov. 28, 2020
Let me start by saying Ernesto Busto is one hell of a freakin guy. He has one hell of a cool accent, sports a hell of a style, and has a hell of a good taste in music...if I recall correctly, Lenny Kravitz was playing in the background when I made my visit. Or was it Led Zep? Prince? Oh, and I believe more importantly, he's the brilliant-mind creative behind the one-of-a-kind, perfectly-nestled, Topanga Canyon hat shop Busto & Sun. For those who don't know, Ernesto Busto is an Italian-born craftsman known exclusively for his rather eccentric, quite original, timeless handcrafted custom hats, belts, and other accessories designed and made in his brick-and-mortar. I was lucky enough to have our initial meet be before the shop officially opened, at which was when Busto offered the sneak peek of what was to come. Excited upon returning to the shop a month or so later, I was welcomed by the same Busto, but instead, with the fresh, finished product behind him—Busto succeeded in bringing forth an essence of what I would say felt like walking right into his home work space back in Italy, with personal touches and details carefully placed all across the store, hats hung on every available hook and stacked high on shelves all around. He gestured me a warm hello with his familiar "Ciao" as he invited me into the space—we sat down on his shop couch and chatted a few. I was gifted some time to ask him about his grand accomplishment. We shared some casual Q & A, some hearty laughs, and why the heck he chose Topanga Canyon. Check out the full interview here.
The visit was also published in Topanga New Times, Wishing for Wonderful, Vol. 1, No. 18.
It was quite a pleasurable visit. Until next time, Busto.
Busto & Sun, 115 S Topanga Canyon Blvd.
Dreaming of Rebirth, Vol. 1 No. 14
Nov. 6, 2020
It’s completely magical to me how some things can resurface into something so much bigger. What, for so long, remained just photos dusting in the archive of a trip to Iceland in 2017, was enough to spark my imagination towards an exciting storyline—who would’ve thought this story would get me published (sheesh!). Cruising Along The Fjord captures the whimsical moments of a young, curious traveler, while on a boat cruise down the Bergen, Norway Fjord. Detailed imagery and imaginative storytelling captures the essence of simple moments as they build into something so much bigger and ever-present.
A huge thank you to Topanga New Times for the opportunity and feature. The feature can be viewed via their e-issue of Dreaming of Rebirth, Vol. 1, No. 14, pg. 17.Also, feel free to access it here on my site!
Hope you all enjoy!
Ebet & Dels
Oct. 5, 2020
I have found it so refreshing seeing local small-businesses flourish during these adverse times. And let me tell you, refreshing doesn't (at all) come close to coining the feeling of Obet & Dels' as you make your way in—a sleek, retro, and minimal design compliments the ambiance and friendly staff behind the counter, and with a perfect Filipino iced-coffee in hand being the damn icing on the cake, might as well consider it a perfect stop to a good day. A women-owned, Black-owned, Filipino-owned small business, if you find yourself in Thai Town anytime soon, do yourself the favor and chase that rainbow right in. I stumbled upon the shop while bouncing around town, and wow, consider that sheer destiny. Cheers to too much caffeine, woo!
Obet & Del's, 5233 Hollywood Blvd.