HOME AGAIN

In this realm, I feel completely at peace, connected to everything all at once, such a tranquil utopia, where all is in such harmony–alas, home again.

I can exist in this moment, in this place I've been before, differently this time, staring at the branches of the trees around me, and be completely with their sway, a part of their sway. The distractions that would have before taken my mind away from this sincerely perfect moment are minimal, if not, completely obsolete. There’s a sharpness in my focus that I haven't had exist before, and now, it’s ever present. There’s an aliveness to my senses that feels of a natural high. 

It took shedding the skin of what was never me. It took cutting out the noise that I thought, for so long, was the necessary backdrop of my surrounding space. It took realizing that I was, in fact, so far from myself and learning to step away from this “self” to be truly alive. It was understanding that this life is truly a simple experience once we get out of its way and let it all just be. As we exist as energy, so does this Divine life force. We must value, respect, and nurture this energy, as it too has always been a part of us. It is the part of us that we forget, yet need to remember. 

In doing this all for myself, I have learned so much about the essence of life. I used to believe that to exist was to do it for them–I used to think my Ego was my best friend. I thought that I had to show up a certain way to make them all happy–to do so was, in fact, doing them an injustice; I was left exhausted, defeated, more harm was being done than good. I loved the way I was taught to, as most of us conditionally do. In turn, I was left with dead-ended relationships, inauthentic connections, reliance, temptation, broken trust. We just don't know better sometimes, and that's okay. Yet the (soul)ution to this has been with us the whole time: I had to learn to love myself. And as long as I did so, the love I have for myself has been naturally reflected unconditionally back to all. Think about that, unconditional love does in fact exist and it exists infinitely! I have learned that this experience is truly internal, and to live the life one has always desired the most, one must truly tend to their interior garden, taking care of all their soulful seeds. These seeds will grow into your life worth living for. In doing this, you're naturally connecting to all, existing as the example that the collective needs in helping them do so as well. No forcing, no overexerting, just being. 

To exist, my friend, is to surrender completely to our origin which is nature: to drift where the wind takes you; to flow where the river takes you. To trust (with absolute faith) in our connection with this pureness, which is the Source we have all come from, is to be rewarded with a state of an otherworldly calm, a state in which miracles happen, a state in which truly anything is possible—a Heaven on Earth. To breathe in the new breath of Mother Nature is to keep us humbled, reminding us of our roots, of where we came from—we learn to respect nature when we are connected to it. Stay connected to it. To wake up is a gift, yet to truly awaken is realizing we have been home all along. 

It takes time, so never be discouraged–in taking the time to be away from the excess, the distractions, the noise, I have come to some profound truth, truth that I have been seeking for years, yet in this short period of surrendering, has come to me so organically. Nothing feels forced any longer. In forcing, I now feel the resistance that comes with it. In yearning from my heart space, and just letting it be, proceeding with believing, this has brought things into fruition faster than ever. Things come together and resonate with a higher assurance. Knowing myself, and what I desire most, has kept me in line with my purpose, my meaning, my truth. 

This is an ever-evolving journey my friend, but I now feel I’m on the fast track, stepping into my truth with much more confidence–I’m letting go of discouragement, of pressure, discomfort, no longer feeling the need to compare as this life has always been intended for me, no longer doubting the process and my own personal journey, and surrendering control as this experience is far beyond my control and constructed to be bigger than my wildest dreams. I’ve learned the truth of what it takes to be alive, and it’s beautiful. 

As my devotion, I am dedicated to sharing this truth with you. I want you to be within this experience, as you too are so deserving. 

Live for yourself. Live from your heart. Love the fear, and let it heal you.