One Last Love Letter

To love someone, to lose that someone you love, and to be left to sit with yourself knowing you were the one that broke that love—there's only so much in this world that shakes me, but the aftershocks from this will remain forever.

You're given something so great sometimes. And I feel that, like children, we take it with a sense of absolute curiosity compounded with a subtle uncertainty. That uncertainty is due to the unfamiliar. The unfamiliar comes with fear. Fear will be why we push it away.

I never meant to hurt you. The universe gave me what I had always desired, and I ran from it. It was the belief that I wasn't worthy. It was the thought that you deserved the world and nothing less of it. It was my shit coming to surfacing, and being left with the question "why me?".

I will never forget when I first locked eyes with you. Nothing else mattered. I forgot who I thought I was and felt my complete self in that room—I knew you felt the same way. In that moment, all of what got the best of me after it all didn't exist [and to truly have that moment of us just existing together again, I would grasp it and never let it go]. What existed was two souls meant to meet. I felt safe with someone so new during a time that safety meant everything. 

Ashamed of my performance, truly, but I proceed forward now knowing why you came along—when I thought I was enough, now I know there was more growth to be done.

Thank you. 

Thank you for being the angel I needed when I didn't realize I was still lost. Thank you for showing me there exists different types of love. Thank you for taking that love and loving me unconditionally. Thank you for sharing this experience with me. Let your light shine the path for those lucky enough to one day be illuminated by you, you beautiful soul.

I did what I could with what I had. Sometimes we're just not given the right tools in that moment to build what we thought possible. The flow of life flows on.

Let this be my one last love letter for you. 

Sincerely,